18 Weeks

18 weeks . . . getting closer and closer to the halfway mark!  While I am super excited to meet and hold this little baby, I am also incredibly nervous (way more so than with my first) for its arrival.  Now that I know what all I'm up against with a newborn . . . Phew!  It wears me out just thinking about it.  I'm constantly pondering how in the world I'm going to manage life with a toddler and a baby.  I am so not a "together" mom.  I can't keep my house cleaned up for the life of me, and the constant clutter and messes drive me bonkers.  I fall behind in so many ways, and although I often have good intentions, many other times they fall through and I spend more time kicking myself.  I lack so many skills that I should have developed, and hope and pray that through all of these failures on my part, I'm learning and growing and hopefully becoming a better mother.  I just desperately want to give my children all the love and attention they deserve, and make sure they feel that love and devotion every day.  I know once this baby comes that life will turn into a chaotic, exhausted, stressful balancing act, but I'm hopeful that after the initial adjusting period that things will settle down into a nice groove, and we'll be a happy family of four!

My pregnancy is currently going pretty well!  The nausea is almost just a memory!  From about weeks 14-17 I threw up just once a week, but I think it's finally passed, hooray!  I have more energy (not a ton, but definitely able to get up and go in the mornings instead of being glued to the couch for a good while, and doing much better at keeping up on the housework) and my headaches rarely happen.  Pretty much my only complaints are the ridiculous break-outs and the backaches (which neither was a stranger before, just intensifies when pregnant).  I've also had a couple issues with dizziness.  About two weeks ago I became very light-headed and dizzy while showering, my vision became blurry and I almost passed out (but thankfully made it safely out and managed to overcome the problem after sitting down for a bit).  Then the same thing happened the other day at the grocery store.  Both times were very scary, and I had a horrible headache afterwards.  I had a similar thing with my first pregnancy, and my nurse called it "migraine with aura."

I'm now able to eat whatever I want!  During the months of sickness I had a bowl of Lipton's chicken noodle soup for lunch every day.  I could NOT eat fruit, as it always seemed to instantly make me sick, and sweets were not very appealing to me.  I ate a lot of yogurt (surprisigly my body could handle it this time), pudding cups, and toaster strudels. I also craved milk (which normally I don't care much for, but it was probably my body's way of telling me I needed it).   Now that my body feels better I'm enjoying fruits, and my sweet tooth has definitely come back as I can't seem to make it through a grocery trip without buying a bag of candy.

My baby bump started to appear around 12 weeks this time (closer to 15 weeks with Eli).  I hate the size I am now, because all of my maternity clothes are apparently stretched from wearing them at my biggest size, but my regular clothes look ridiculous.  I'm still barely managing to fit into my jeans (only because they are low rise).  I tried the rubber band trick, but then the zipper wouldn't stay up, ha!  I just feel like I should already be 24 weeks from the way I look, and it's a bit depressing.  Maybe I'll feel better when I have more clothing options.  My bra size jumped up a whole size, so I really do just feel big and gross all over.  Even so, I still want to document how I look, so here it is--at 18 weeks:

Super excited to find out the gender this month!!