A Blessing of Babies

My brother, Ryan, and his wife, Jeri, were never able to have children on their own.  They chose the adoption route, and were blessed to be able to adopt four great kids.  They've been out of the baby age for several years now, and it was thought that their family was finished growing.  What a wonderful surprise it was to hear that they were expecting (through the magic of IVF)!  We were all SO thrilled for their family!  I was excited for Ryan and Jeri to have the experience of pregnancy and childbirth (even though it's not at all my favorite experience, it's definitely not one I'd want to miss out on).  We were all given an even BIGGER surprise when we learned that they were expecting TWINS!  Such a happy and joyful time for everyone in the family to celebrate with them!

When Jeri was about halfway through her pregnancy she had an appointment where she learned that her cervix was shortening too quickly.  The doctor was worried that the babies could be born at any time.  He put her on immediate bedrest and they had to make the decision whether or not to have a cerclage performed.  (If she had the cerclage it'd give them the best chance of keeping the babies in, but there was also a chance that the sac could be punctured and the babies wouldn't survive.)  They also learned that one of the babies had some health troubles.  Those are awful things to hear in any pregnancy, but especially hard for a couple like them, who "put all their eggs in a basket" and had this one shot to bring their babies into the world.  A very scary time indeed.

At this time their family was living in Texas and were to be moving back to California at the end of the school year (it was Jan/Feb).  The move had to be pushed up to right away, since if the babies came early they would have to stay wherever they were born for a good long time.  My mom made the decision to retire early (it was her last year teaching and she would be finished at the end of May), so she and my dad (who thankfully had retired in December) could take over the care of their 4 kids and house, etc in Jeri's place.  My dad went out early and helped Ryan pack up and and drive all their belongings from Texas to California.  Then he and my mom drove out to spend the next 3 months there.

There was a lot of anxiety and stress for those months.  Everyone was so worried about the babies coming too early, and we prayed a lot and fasted for them and their family.  Each week that passed helped our hope and faith to increase.  On April 17th, When Jeri was about 35 weeks (a super miracle she made it that long!) we received the message that the babies were on their way!  She had to have an emergency c-section but both babies arrived, named Olivia and Isabelle.  Isabelle (the one with the health problems) was whisked away pretty quickly.  Both babies spent some time in the NICU.  Since Olivia was perfectly healthy she grew well and fast and it wasn't too long before she could come home.  Isabelle was born with Trisomy 18.  She was doing alright for some time, but it was hard to know what future laid in store for her.  Thankfully Ryan and Jeri and their family were all able to spend good time with her.  All of her grandparents and some other extended family members were able to meet her, too.  She was even able to receive a baby blessing.  Her breathing became more of a struggle, and Ryan and Jeri took her off the respirator.  She passed away shortly after, peacefully in Jeri's arms.

Began as "Baby A" and "Baby B"

Ryan and Jeri stopped by the hospital before heading to church.  They could see Isabelle was doing worse and called my parents to bring the kids to say goodbye.  Ryan quickly gave her a blessing, worried she was about to pass.  She was given some morphine and perked up more, long enough for them to all be together for a family photo until they meet again someday.

It was very sad for all of the family, but there were so many blessings through all of it.  So grateful she could be born and have a few days on earth with her family.  So grateful her sister was able to survive and thrive still.  So grateful for the knowledge of eternal families, and for our faith that gets us through hard times.  All of us siblings of course wished we could be out there for the funeral, but weren't quite sure how we'd make that happen.  My parents made the very generous offer to provide for one ticket for each of our families.  The funeral was May 4th, so I flew out to California by myself.  It was hard to have to go without David and the kids, but I was just so grateful to get to go at all.  I had never spent a night away from Ezra, so it made me sad, but I knew he (and the others) were in good hands with David (who had never had the kids on his own for more than a couple hours, ha!  But they surprisingly all did well while I was away!)

It was so nice being together with my parents and all of my siblings, especially for such a time as a child's funeral.  It was so important to me to be able to support Ryan and Jeri and I would have hated if I had missed the opportunity to.  Beth came with Holly, and all of Emily's family came, and also Becky.

It was a lovely funeral service, just held at the gravesite.  All of Isabelle's older siblings and cousins who were there sang the sweet song "The Miracle."  Ryan and Jeri each spoke.  I was amazed and inspired at their strength.  They held such positive attitudes in the midst of their grief.  Their faith was a huge anchor to them.  There was a luncheon put on by their ward after the service, so kind.  None of us could hold sweet baby Olivia.  I guess it's a rule with preemies to not hold them much at all the first two weeks.  Too bad!  But we enjoyed watching Ryan hold her. I don't think he could resist.  :)

Four sisters